TDU Jubilee by The Digital Underground
IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED BSC. HE LOOKED AT WHAT HE HAD CREATED AND LAUGHED HIS HEAD OFF. HE THEN GRABBED A SCALPEL AND SLICED BSC UP INTO LITTLE PIECES WHICH JERKED AND MOVED ABOUT LIKEA PILE OF SPASTIC MAGGOTS UNDER A WIZBIN ---------- GOD DECIDED TO SCATTER THESE PIECES AROUND A BIT. HE LOST SOME OF THEM, AND FOUND SOME NEW BITS... HE THEN CLUMPED THEM ALL TOGETHER, AND DECIDED ON A NAME FOR THE NEWLY FORMED CONGLOMERATE OF ESTRANGED GREEBLIES..... SPACE! - IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED BSC. HE LOOKED AT WHAT HE HAD CREATED AND LAUGHED HIS HEAD OFF. HE THEN GRABBED A SCALPEL AND SLICED BSC UP INTO LITTLE PIECES WHICH JERKED AND MOVED ABOUT LIKEA PILE OF SPASTIC MAGGOTS UNDER A WIZBIN ---------- GOD DECIDED TO SCATTER THESE PIECES AROUND A BIT. HE LOST SOME OF THEM, AND FOUND SOME NEW BITS... HE THEN CLUMPED THEM ALL TOGETHER, AND DECIDED ON A NAME FOR THE NEWLY FORMED CONGLOMERATE OF ESTRANGED GREEBLIES..... - TITLES ------ THE LITTLE GROUP OF INFERIOR EUGLENA WERE LEFT TO PONDER THE IDEA OF A NEW NAME FOR THEMSELVES.. THEY CAME UP WITH THE DIGITAL UNDERGROUND HOWEVER, THE DECIDING OF THE NEW NAME WAS NO EASY TASK.... WORKING TITLES FOR THE GROUP INCLUDED 'GUILD OF SUBBYBUMS' 'QUARK STRATUM MATRIX', 'ANGRY BUTTOCKS''GOIN DOWN SUMMERNATTS', 'THE GREENIES','STEINER'S TOWEL CLAN', AND 'SHIT'. BUT TDU SUDDENLY REALISED..... - TDU SUDDENLY REALISED...WHERE EVERYTHING IS BAD, IT MUST BE GOOD TO KNOW THE WORST... - TDU SUDDENLY REALISED...WHAT CAN WE POSSIBLY MEAN BY RELIGION? THE QUESTION HAS PLAGUED AND PUZZLED MANY BUT IT IS ESPECIALLY URGENT TODAY WHEN ALL THAT HAS BEEN DONE IN THE NAME OF OR FOR THE SAKE OF RELIGION, MOST OF WHICH CAN HARDLY BE NEWS, IS BROUGHT HOME TO EVER MORE PEOPLE SO MUCH MORE QUICKLY AND CONCRETELY THAN BEFORE. WHAT, IF ANY OF ALL THIS THAT GOES BY THE NAME OF RELIGION IS REALLY RELIGION? HOW MUCH OFIT ONLY USES FEARS OF NON-RELIGIOUS ENDS (IE. MONEY AND POWER ABOVE ALL??) - TDU SUDDENLY REALISED...WELL, WE CAN BE UNHAPPY. WE CAN BE UNSELFISHLY UNHAPPY BY BROODING IN OUR IMAGINATION AND IN OUR NERVES ON THE ANGUISH FELT AT THIS MOMENT BY SOMEONE ELSE, AND WE CAN BE SELFISHLY UNHAPPY, BROODING UPON OUR OWN MISERIES, APATHIES, WORRIES, UPON OUR OWN GRIEVANCES AND AILMENTS, UPON OUR OWN WRONGS; OR WE CAN 'FORCE' OURSELVES TO BE HAPPY... IE. SITTING THERE BEING HAPPY AT THIS DEMO.. - TDU SUDDENLY REALISED...IT IS OK TO REFRAIN FROM SO BLINDLY FOLLOWING THE CROWD, BY DOING WHATEVER EVERYONE ELSE JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE DOING AT THE TIME-IT IS OK TO BE STRANGE, INOVATIVE, WEIRDESTRANGED, ABSTRACT, ANGRY, HAPPY, SAD, OPINIONATED, HUMOROUS, SERIOUS, FAT, SKINNY, NORMAL, NON-JUDGEMENTAL, TALL, SHORT, AVERAGE, LANKY, RUBBERY, MALE, FEMALE, BLACK, WHITE, YELLOW, BLUE NON-TRENDY, REBELLIOUS, EMACIATED, HASSLED, PICKED ON, PRAISED, ACCUSED, KICKED IN THE HEAD OR ALL OF THE ABOVE.. - TDU SUDDENLY REALISED... THAT WAKING IN THE MIEDLE OF A DREAM, EVEN THE WORST, ONE FEELS DISAPPOINTED, EVEN CHEATED OF THE BEST IN LIFE. BUT PLEASANT, FULFILLED DREAMS ARE ACTALLY AS RARE, TOUSE CCG'S OWN WORDS... 'WET + SQUELCHY'. EVEN THE COOLEST DREAM BEARS LIKE A BLEMISH ITS DIFFERENCE FROM REALITY, THE AWARENESS THAT WHAT IT GRANTS IS MERE ILLUSION. THIS IS PRECISELY WHY THE BEST DREAMS ARE AS IF BLIGHTED. FEEDING A PLATE TO A SHARK SEEMS BLOODY STUPID, AS DOES PUNCHING YOURSELF IN THE HEAD. - TDU SUDDENLY REALISED... THAT HE WHO SEEKS TO MEDITIATE BETWEEN TWO BOLD THINKERS STAMPS HIMSELF AS MEDIOCRE: HE HAS NOT THE EYES TO SEE UNIQUENESS, TO PERCEIVE RESEMBLANCES EVERYWHERE, THE USELESS ACTION OF MAKING EVERYTHING ALIKE, IS A BLATANT SIGN OF WEAK EYESIGHT... TDU SUDDENLY REALISED... THAT THAT THAT IS, IS. THAT THAT IS NOT, IS NOT. IS THAT IT?....... IT IS... - TDU SUDDENLY REALISED... THAT IT IS BETTER!TO MEET A MOTHER BEAR ROBBED OF HER CUBS, THAN TO MEET SOME FOOL BUSY WITH A STUPID PROJECT.... IT WAS THE 17TH OF AUGUST 1990, AND ALL THESE REALISATIONS HAD FINALLY POINTED TO THE NAME OF 'TDU'..... IT IS ALSO QUITE INTERESTING TO NOTE THAT RAGGING ON A GROUP SUCH AS US, IS SIMILAR TO WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND GRABBING A DOG BY ITS EARS... - NEXT... THE DIGITAL UNDERGROUND SING 'OREGON TRAIN'THEN... THE CURTAIN THEN... A SPASTIC CRUNCH; CRUUUUNNNCHHHHH... - UNTIL THEN, SIT BACK, LIE BACK, FALL BACK, KICK BACK, REGURGITATE BACK, OR EVEN WOBBLE BACK (IF YOU ARE SEATED ON A STURDY COMPONENTS OFFICE CHAIR), AND ENJOY THE DIGITAL UNDERGROUND'S ONE YEAR BIRTHDAY DEMO IMAGINATIVELY TITLED... "TDU JUBILEE" - JUBAR JUBAR JUICYZ! QUOTE - "HAH HAHAH, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE GOT A JUBE HAT ON! HAHAHHH" ONCE MORE PLEASE... - OK.... CREDITS FOR THIS INTRO ARE SOMETHING LIKE THIS : CODE : SLASH/TDU + ICEMAN/TDU LOGO : ICEMAN/TDU ALL TEXT : STIGS/TDU (THANKS TO A.O.N) MUSIC : REYN OUWENHAND SUPPORT : RORY! THATS ALL FOLKS... - SPACE! -
ICE-WRITER V2.1 CODED BY ICEMAN/TDU---------------- -------------------* PRESS SPACE TO READ CURRENT NOTE, OR * PRESS RETURN TO WRITE A NEW ONE!! - TEST MESSAGE - CHANGE NUMBER - OF PAGES - WRITE TEXT - - MUSIC TO LOAD BETWEEN $1000-$2000 - PRESS RUN/STOP OR RESTORE TO GET TO THIS MENU WHEN TESTING MESSAGE. - FOR NEXT PAGE WHEN WRITING TEXT, +PRESS - TO GET BACK HERE. - BE SURE TO SET NUMBER OF PAGES, OR ELSE YOU'LL GET THE SAME NUMBER AS THE PERSON BEFORE YOU. (C) 1990 - % X& X& X& X& X& X& X& X& - SAVENAME: BBBJJJGGGAAAAAAGGGJJJBBB - ENTER INIT, JSR $1000,$1003 TOTAL NO. = 10 --- CHANGE NUMBER OF PAGES --- PRESS '+' OR '-' TO INC/DEC THE PAGE NUMBER...(ONLY 1-36 AVAILABLE!) PRESS ANY KEY TO PAUSE-UNPAUSE DIRECTORY - OK FUCKERS.... HERE IS - WITH A LITTLE NOTE CALLED... - THIS NOTE IS TYPICAL OF WHAT THE FUCKEN POSTIES DO WITH OUR PACKS WHEN WE POST THEM.... IT IS A RIP OFF OF THE LITTLE GOLDEN BOOK OF THE SAME NAME.... LETS SPACE IT SHALL WE???? - HAS A SECRET WHAT A GRAND SURPRISE HE'S WRITING "FUCK THE POSTIES" WITH A TWINKLE IN HIS EYES.. NOW ALL OUR FUCKEN DISK ERRORS IS THE REASON FOR THIS TALE OF THE 7 LITTLE POSTMEN WHO - UP OUR MAIL... SOME GET ALL OF THEIR STAMPS AND GLUE THEM AS BEST THEY CAN THEN GO AND POST THE PACKAGE AND FOOL THE POSTMAN! THE MAIL BOX OPENS, THE PACKAGE DROPS IN I BET IT WON'T GET THERE THINKS - WITH A GRIN.. SPACE... - THE FIRST LITTLE POSTMAN EMPTIES OUT THE BOX HE DISCOVERS SOME GLUED STAMPS AND SOME GUYS GET A VISIT FROM THE COPS (STIGS' PACKAGE GOES TO THE POST OFFICE WITH ITS LAME UNLOADING DOCKS...) THE POSTMAN EMPTIES OUT HIS POUCH UPON THE SORTING TABLE AND LOOK! THERES STIGS' PACKAGE WITH THE TORN + FUCKED UP LABEL... A CANCELLING MACHINE IS NEXT ZIP-CLICKETY-CLACK IT - TO CANCEL OUT THE POSTAGE STAMPWITH A MARK THATS ROUND AND BLACK... POSTMAN 2 SORTS THE MAIL HE DOES HIS VERY BEST (?) STIGS' PACKAGE SHOULD GO NORTH BUT HE SENDS THE FUCKEN THING - SPACE... - IS WHAT THE STICKER SAYS BUT DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING? - ! STIGS' PACKAGE GETS SENT BY SURFACE MAILAND IT GOES SO - SLOW! AFTER THEY ARE SORTED POSTMAN 2 TAKES THEM TO THE DOOR HE THEN HANDS THEM TO POSTMAN 3 WHO FUCKS THEM UP SOME MORE! INTO THE POUCH AND TIE IT TIGHT- STIGS' PACKAGE WILL SIT THERE ALL FUCKENNIGHT! POSTMAN 3 IS ON HIS WAY AND ONE THING IS TRUE MOST POSTIES ARE LAZY SHITS AND THE MAIL WON'T GO THROUGH! - - UP AND AWAY THROUGH SLEET AND HAIL THIS AEROPLANE CARRIES THE FASTEST MAIL THE PILOT FLIES AS FAST AS HE CAN GO AND IT STILL TAKES 8 WEEKS! - ! HERE'S POSTMAN FOUR ON THE EVENING TRAINAND THERE'S STIGS' PACKAGE OUT IN THE RAIN AS THE TRAIN SPEEDS ALONG THE SHINY RAILS STIGS' PACKAGE FALLS OUT, AND AWAY IT SAILS! WHILE THE PASSENGERS SIT AND ENJOY THE RIDE THE POSTMEN ARE LAUGHING SIDE BY SIDE STIGS' PACKAGE NOW GETS SORTED WITH THE REST OF THE LAME MAIL GOING OFF TO THE WEST! SPACE... JMOSVY]!&*/49> - AT A COUNTRY STATION BY A COUNTRY ROAD THE FIFTH LITTLE POSTMAN SHOOTS HIS LOAD! THE CLERK RUBS HIS POUCH WITH ALL HIS MIGHT AND ASKS THE FIFTH POSTMAN TO GRAB IT TIGHT! THERE GOES THE MAIL TRUCK PAST A HORSE THIS SHOULD DELAY THE PACKAGE AND SEND IT RIGHT OFF COURSE! THEN COMES - (_IN ) AND ITS SO VERY SMALL (_ JOKE!) THE POST OFFICE THERE (_ ) IS IN A SHOPPING MALL! (_ ) SPACE.. - HIIIIIIIA WHOLE HEAP OF PACKAGES ARE LOST AT THIS STOP AND THERE'S STIGS' PACKAGE RIGHT ON TOP! NOW POSTMAN SIX MUST SORT THE MAIL AGAIN.. AND IT GETS OUT ON SEPTEMBER 25TH, 1997 AT HALF PAST TEN! POSTMAN 7 CARRIES CHICKEN AND FRUIT AND STOPS IN AT A WHORE HOUSE FOR A QUICK LITTLE ROOT! HE STOPS WITH SUGAR AT THE COUNTRY STOREMR JONES KICKS HIM ON TO THE FLOOR FOR MRS O'ROURKE WITH ALL HER ILLS HE BRINGS HER SOME CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS THERE'S LITTLE TERRY IN HIS YARD THE POSTMAN BRINGS HIM A - BIRTHDAY CARD! SPACE - [THERES SOMETHING FOR NEPHEWS AND SOMETHING FOR NIECES HE HANDS THEM THEIR MAIL IN SEVERAL PIECES... THERE WERE SOME STALE OLD CHICKENS FOR - MRS PICKENS AND A DRESS FOR A PARTY WHICH SMELT LIKE A - (__SORRY!) FINALLY HE DELIVERS - ' SEND TAKING NO NOTICE OF THE WORDS " - " THE DISK IS BENT + OUT OF SHAPE NOT TO MENTION - 8 MONTHS LATE... STIGS WALKS OUT TO COLLECT HIS MAIL HE DOES THIS EVERYDAY WITHOUT FAIL AS HE LOOKED AT HIS MAIL HE GOT A SURPRISE HE COULDN'T BELIEVE HIS FUCKEN EYES! SPACE.. HAVING POSTED THE PACKAGE 8 MONTHS AGO, AND THE POSTIES SORTING IT SO SLOW AUSTRALIA POST- WHAT A FUCKING DISGRACE! - ! WELL, STIGS GOT HIS OWN PACKAGE BACK! THE STORY IS AT AN END, SO REMEMBER THE 7 LITTLE JERKS NEXT TIME YOU'RE GOING TO SEND! - L8R! SEEYA'S IN DECEMBER! SIGNED: - G - - 
THE DIGITAL WRITER V1.7 PRESS SPACE TO READ. ANY OTHER KEY TO WRITE. KHJ - ^[]<>' FOR INTERRUPT CHARS. AND SHIFT,REVERSE OR REVERSE+SHIFT FOR COLOUR CHARACTERS.. PRESS SPACE.. - _______________________ PRESENTS: ///////////// / - / ///////////// RELEASED ON THE 18TH SEPTEMBER, 1991! THIS DEMO WAS MEANT TO BE OUR 1 YEAR DEMO, BUT GOT DELAYED TO A 1 YEAR, 1 MONTH AND 1 DAY DEMO. OUR 1 YEAR BIRTHDAY WAS IN FACT ON THE - . THIS OLD WRITER WAS WRITTEN LAST YEAR BY - AND NOW A FEW THINGS: ^ - 'S INTERLACE PART IS REALLY DONE WITH CHARACTERS, - WITH SPRITES... ^ THIS DEMO WAS GOING TO BE BETTER BUT WE RAN OUT OF TIME AND WE WERE - LAZY! ^ BLUE MANGOS SUCK! THE DEMO WAS LINKED AND PUT TOGETHER BY - AT THE VERY LAST MOMENT. WE WILL COMMENCE TO PUT SOME - ADDIES ON THE NEXT PAGES, FOR A HOT SWAP WITH A HOT GUY! (WOWIE) ] - ] FOR - CRACKS: - , 265 CHARLESTOWN RD, - AUSTRALIA. 2290. - 34 KULAI ST, - SWAPPING: - 8 MATHEW AVE, - AUSTRALIA. 2280. < - < FOR - SWAPPING (CONT): - , LOT 10 MCDONAGH RD, - : - , 14 DALTON CLOSE, - AUSTRALIA. 2280. - , 31 NERANG PLACE, - > OK ENOUGH FOR THIS NOTE, NOW GO AND ENJOY THE DEMO... GO! GO! - AND REMEMBER TO ENJOY LIFE AND NOT WASTE IT ON THINGS LIKE CABBAGES OR GOLD PLUGS WITH A BROKEN THING, OR STUFFS THAT DIG LITTLE HOLES IN THE GROUND.... OOPS, FORGOT SOME FINGS, SO ON THE NEXT PAGE I WILL EXPLAIN SOME THINGS... / - / OK FIRST, WHO'S SEEN THE DEMO BY - ? BECAUSE DON'T THINK HE IS A MEMBER OR EVER WAS A MEMBER OF - AND THEREFORE WE DISOWN THAT DEMO. IN FACT - IS ACTUALLY - AND WE DIDN'T APPREICIATE THAT STUNT... SECOND, WHOEVER THE - WHO RANG - AND ABUSED HIM UNDER OUR NAME WILL BE SHOT. AS SOON AS WE FIND OUT WHO IT WAS WE WILL KICK MAJOR - ! - LASTLY, APOLOGIES TO - AS I LOST ONE OF HIS PARTS AND THEREFORE IT IS MISSING FROM THE DEMO.. IT WILL APPEAR LATER, PROBABLY WITH - 'S ANIMATION DEMO AND HIS - . LOOK OUT FOR THEM - ! WELL THAT'S ALL FROM ME! - '91 _/ - /_ - -